 |
| Memories The day my world came to an end was 26 March 1983. My only child, Jeff, (age 20) was killed in a pickup truck accident while working in Texas. He and another boy were going home on a very rainy Friday night when the accident happened. The county between Crowell and Vernon was in the process of removing the windbreaker trees on the curve in the road. There was one left yet to be removed; the one the boys hit. Jeff’s girlfriend Angie came upon the accident and tried to get them out of the truck~~~the last thing Jeff said to her was that he loved her. Jeff lived for 6 hours and the other boy a week. Being in Washington state and Jeff in Texas prevented me from being with him in the end. But he was not alone as ten of his friends were with him when he passed. A huge part of me died with Jeff. Those of you who know what it is like to lose an only child or all of your children totally understand the devastation that follows. Life was a blur for a very long time and I felt so alone and lost. For the first three years I didn’t have a support group. Then in 1986 we joined The Compassionate Friends and I found if I took care of them, making sandwiches, coffee etc, I had a purpose in life. Yet I still felt so alone, even in a group setting. One night a woman came to the meeting who had lost her only child Mark. We became instant friends. Marilyn and her husband Ernie lost their son from SAD (Sudden Adult Death)—I asked the facilitators at TCF’s if we could meet with the ones who had lost an only child. That was the first time since losing Jeff that I felt I belonged somewhere. I knew we had to start a group for people in our unique situation. At our first meeting there was Marilyn and myself with 30 cups of coffee to drink—From there we decided to meet the first Saturday of every month to fill a void as weekends are for families. In December 1989 we had our first meeting at a fire station with four in attendance. We now meet at St. Francis Hospital in Federal Way Washington from 10:00 AM until noon. It is a peaceful safe haven for all who come. A few who live in our area attend the meeting. Many parents have come and gone and I am happy for them as this means they are coping a little better. We have a newsletter that comes out four times a year. Maggie (Ben’s mom) in SC is the editor. We now have close to 200 parents on our mailing list. To some, this is the only support they have. Shauna (Ashley’s mom) (CA) copies and sends to the ones without email. In the newsletter we have Sunrise-Sunset. Sunrise is your child’s birthday. Sunset is the anniversary date. It is our way to remember all children who have gone on before us. We will never forget your child. As for Jeff’s girlfriend Angie, she waited five years after Jeff’s passing to get married and when they had their first child they named him Jeff. Angie is still in contact with me. There are angels among us who continue to help us through this journey without our children. Hugs to you all Liz Jeff's Mom |
 |
 |
